Day 226 Days of Recovery from Procrastination

My day was one of those days that got crazy before it got calm. I did find some time to do some writting, became so involved in it that, i had forgotten about the school Christmas concert we had to attend for our granddaughter.

My garden got put back another few days, but then thats ok, because it will still be there, just a little bit more messy.

But as i am not taking myself to seriously today, it doesnt matter.

I feel accomplished by getting some of my writting done. Though my writting is making me remember things and putting a few things from my life in to prospective. Its a cleansing experience.

Tomorrow starts the crazy lead up to Christmas, let the shopping begin.

Day 244/227 Day’s of Recovery from Procrastination

Eighteenth days since i wrote anything. I have thought about it every day, but this is what happened.

True story here. Its pretty much how i looked.

My imagination was sapped. For two weeks i was away with work. There was a three hour time difference and for the life of me i just couldn’t find the energy to write.

I did listen to a book, i spent time with my daughter and my two grandsons, who live in the city i went too. I worked, i went to the U2 concert ( which was amazing). I came home and still just didnt have the energy.

The last couple of months have been huge, with party’s, funerals, illness, work commitments, and planning a wedding that is quickly coming soon.

I think i just needed to rest. Being away for a couple of weeks with work, did offer me the time to just to unwind. It was not hard or taxing work, but active in a good way.

There was no house work, limited cooking, i was pampered by room service in a five star hotel. I got to see lots of interesting things, got to fly in business class, and i got paid to do all these things.

I am a lucky girl, back to reality now. Sigh…………..

My tasks for tomorrow will be

1. Some gardening. Procrastination has hit me concerning that chore again.

2. Do some good writting

3. Dont take myself to seriously

Day 245 Days of Recovery from Procrastination

I am extremely lucky to come from a very large and loving family. I am the eldest of seven children. Before you ask yes we had a tv. We just lived in the country. 不不不不不

We are a in todays term a dysfunctional family as our parents are divorced, but we are still nucular in the sense that we function better for our parents decision.

I don’t need to speak to all my family members everyday or even every week, actually if my second brother calls me, i think there’s a family disaster, because he never calls anyone.

While we are not huge on communication, i know without a doubt, that everyone in my family would be there for each other in time of need.

I am still even close to aunts and uncles and most of my cousin’s. My wedding guest list is the size it is, because of the size of my family. But then i couldn’t imagine life without them.

While i am away here in Perth i get to spend time with my own little family. My daughter and my two grandsons.

Unfortunately i never got to have more children, just the one. So when i can i love to spend time with her. I miss them so very much living all the way across the other side of the country.

Watching my grandsons playing and having fun, warms my heart and secretly makes me wish that my daughter was as little as them again.

Wishing wont make it true, but it does help me to understand why my parents spoiled my daughter and siblings children so much.

We get to do all the easy stuff without having to worry about the shit we did when our children were growing up. Paying the bills making sure there food on the table etc.

While i am here i am going to lap up all the love, and give so much love to them.

I will be the coolest glam ma that they have ever had.

Day 246 Days of Recovery from Procrastination

In the last 6 years i have shed a lot of negative things out of my life.

Do i have still more to go? Yes, one of my defects of character are that i am an people pleaser, which doesn’t always work to my advantage often go’s against everything i should want in my life. This is one of, plus my prolonged procrastination problem that needs to be amended in my life.

When i stop being such a people pleaser, then more negatively will be eliminated. It’s all a work in progress, one day at a time. It’s learning to detatch without feeling. Feelings are often what gets in the way. My own feelings that is, not anyone elses.

There are other defects, but time will help with those.

Day 247 Days of Recovery from Procrastination

I could certainly get used to flying business class. Luxury plus. Staying in a five star hotel and getting paid for it all, sigh what a life i lead. I do have to do a fair bit of caring for these privileges.

It’s easy caring though, for someone who is easy going and easy to get along with as well.

This is all my higher power working for me. Pushing me along, for the first time in a long time i really feel its presence.

Surrendering to our higher power or having an understanding is all part of step 2 in my AA world.

When i lost the feeling of my higher power being my life force, i lost the drive for so much in my life. With slow patience and daily work i starting to look after myself better, one day at a time.

It’s all about balance, even my procrastination. While i am here in the beautiful city of Perth i wont be setting myself any tasks, just going with the flow of what my client wants to do.

Hanging out with my daughter and grandsons as well while i am here. It’s a good balance between work and family life.

I really do live a good life.

Day 250/249/248 Day’s of Recovery from Procrastination

For the first time in years i have worked my entire birthday weekend. Once my birthday would have been spread over a week or two, if i could get away with it the whole month.

To say i am a birthday junkie is an understatement. Here is something i will never be in recovery from. I love my birthday. Its the one day of the year that i am totally loved and adored. I allow my ego to get out of control, its all about me, and i love it.

This year my H2B (husband2be) took me out for tea at a Korean BBQ restaurant.

This man doesn’t like really trying new foods, so i was super impressed that he loved it. It was so good and filling that we both went to sleep when we got home. No energy for writting. I’m literally sure that there was food crammed into every part of my body i was that full.

I woke up on my birthday to two bottles of my fav perfume. And a lot of singing from everyone at work. My day was super busy. Work, nails done, work, nap and more work.

My weekend filled with work, 6 year old drama school auditions and packing for my work trip to Perth tomorrow.

Tomorrow is a new week and new beginnings. Its going to be busy with my travelling but an adventure as well. I have been to Perth a couple of times. Its a really beautiful city. Will be a bit of a shock to the system as they are three hours behind us.

The other good thing is that i will be able to see my daughter and grandsons too. An advntage to the opportunity. That’s what life is about for me, finding the positives in every situation.

Hope everyone has had a great weekend. Xxx

Day 251 Days of Recovery from Procrastination

This is the thought process of a person in active addiction and in recovery as well.

It’s not until we experience freedom in our recovery, which was pointed out to me is in step 9 of the AA big book, which is the bible to those who are looking to find relief and salvation from their addictions.

Addictions come in many forms, it isn’t just isolated to drugs and alcohol. Through out life we are constantly looking for freedom from that addiction that is holding us back from our true selves.

It’s simple human thinking. I do not think i have ever met anyone that hasn’t thought at least one or all of these above things.

So really i am at step 1 in my recovery from Procrastination. I have come to the understanding that it has made my life unmanageable.

I have been fighting this whole procrastination addiction. It’s my safe place, my hiding hole.

I have come to the understanding also the 12 step program actually works on everything that is an addiction. As i have explored more into the AA world, i realise that the steps are used pretty much every self help program. From Alcohol to workaholic anonymous with numerous other groups that are a spin off and believe in a program that has worked for nearly 100 years

So today i stand up and say;

“hello my name is Elisa and i am a gratefully sober alcholic and procrastinator in recovery.”