Lightbulb moment today. I love when that happens, hence the reason i call myself the Lightbulb moment recovery coach.
Our whole lives we have those moments when a light goes on in our head so bright, that we realise that our way of thinking has changed. It just clicks, we now understand why we do what we do or why we think like we do.
Its life changing most of the time, these lightbulb moments. I was having mini lightbulb moments through most of my childhood. My first real hit me in the head, knock me on the arse lightbulb moment was when i was given the ultimatum between family and Alcholic drinking. I have had many since, but not always as profound.
It was the beginning of a complete change of life for me. A life that i know had to happen, because if i had continued to keep drinking, then i wouldn’t have what i have now. I wouldn’t have been able to achieve as much as i have in my life.
I wouldn’t have been able to raise my daughter, i wouldn’t have been able to put her through private school, travel the world, find love finally, to be able to be a home owner
I have through out the last twenty four years of sobriety, prided myself on being a logical type of person, and had complete common sense. But lightbulb moment today!!!!
I attend a Alcholics Anonymous topic meeting every Sunday night. Tonights topic was about doing our recovery the soft and easy way.
Lightbulb moment hit me, that i have for those twenty four years tried to do everything the soft and easy way. My first eighteen years, was spent outside the rooms, where my ego was ouf of control. I was living life on lifes terms, but with my own rules attatched.
Those rules lead me down a path of destruction. Destruction of my faith in myself, the removal of my common sense and my logical thinking.
Now that i have learned that the soft and easy way is not always the way, i will use step 9 out of the big book, which is to make amends, but i will work more on making amends with myself.
I will also use it to make amends towards my procrastination, which Lightbulb moment again today, i read here on wordpress that procrastination is a form of covering up my emotions.
Why had i never thought of that??????? Its common sense, it makes me feel better, because it gives logic or some to my depression.
For such a long time i have faught with my inner demons about all my decisions i have made in my life.
I am now going to realease those worrys and those feelings back out into the universe.
I have to remember that everything happens for a reason, it all happens to teach us something, and i think that what i have learnt is that i am a strong person, a person who has great love for life and i realise that i am not going to sweat the small stuff any more.
My tasks will continue to teach me new habits, that i have pushed to the back of my existence, because i am no longer going to hide my feelings.
Life is a journey and sometimes its a rollercoaster ride, but for the majority of the time it is calm. Just the way it should be.
Tasks for tomorrow are.
Task 1. Write a gratitude list.
Task 2. Work on my story.
Task 3. Gym time.
Hope everyone has had a great weekend. Xxx