This morning my mum had commented on this blog post that i share to facebook every time i blog. Her words made think of what my parents told us that when we were growing up.
When were growing up, we were told that when we turned 18 we would be responsible for ourselves. With reading the above words, it hit home that those words shaped my destiny and that of my child.
“Be responsible for yourself in other words because you can only be you” when i read this i feel myself having to be responsible for my actions and consequences, for i am in my only responsible for my actions, they are not the responsibility of others.
This is a big thing for someone to learn. Its a scary thing, but in my recovery i have learned to take responsibility, admitted my mistakes and have not layed the responsibility at others feet. Adulthood has also taught me this harsh lesson as well.
It is people like my mother who see those afflicted by addiction those they love and it would be heart wrenching to finally come to the conclusion that they can not think like you, accept that they are not you and they respect that difference. It’s not until we are in recovery and we have clear thinking, that we too can see that difference.
When i got to my first year of recovery from alcohol, my life became really beautiful, it was like i had never seen the sun shining so brightly, but over the years i let my beautiful life become muddy. I let negative thinking get in and let it weigh me down.
Now i have come to another crossroads in my life, my daughter is grown and has a family of her own, i didnt cope as well as i thought i would of when i became an empty nester. I think i pushed to hard for something neither of us was ready for.
Now that i am comfortable and i know she is safe, life is that little more easier. Now that i am back working my steps correctly and i have taken off my painted ears and put on my listening ears, my life is becoming more simple.
Because life really is beautiful when we stop f#%king it up.