I have through out my adult life tried very hard not to play the victim roll, i have always put up this massive front and i have even convinced those closest to me that i am ok, even though in my head i have been a wo me, fearful of most things and afraid of change until i have had to put on my big girl panties and get over it.
I have had many moments of strength and courage, and i have found that when i really needed to be a damsel in distress, no one has believed me, and no one has seen my struggle, so i get up and do it myself, because really no one else could do it the same as me.
In my struggle to over come my procrastination, i have come to realise that its the victim mentality that is one of the things behind my addiction to procrastination. If i dont push forward, if i stay still everything will be ok kind of thoughts, but i am rudely awakened by the fact that my outside world is not matching up with my inside world.
Its easy to stay behind the fear, but that really isnt me. I am firece and i am independent, i like to get things done, but at the same time i am sometimes so very tired, from the world around me.
Finding a balance is the key. Delving into the root of my procrastination and seeing why its there and why i carry it around is enlightening and frightening at the same time.
I can be the hero in my story or the victim.
I choose to be the hero in my story.
