This is pretty much the story of my twenties. When i was twenty-five i drempt of being married and have another child by the time i was thirty.
I wasn’t in the right head space, or even comfortable enough within myself to have maintained a marrige back then. It would have been done on a whim, i would have thought that it was everything i had ever wanted, but it really wasn’t something i needed then.
I needed stability yes, but i had to learn that it was own stability that i needed and not that of someone else.
I am now in the place i wanted to be twenty years ago, but a better space in my head and i learnt to have my own stability that i needed.
Also the man i have married is a man and the boys i were seeing then were just that, boys!
I am now in a place where i feel total love and security.
Yesterday i came home from work and just vegged on the couch totally absorbed in watching tv and not even caring about being on my devices. I had cleaned the house on Saturday, so that i could do nothing yesterday. I walked to and from work.
Today i feel relaxed and self assured. Work was a breeze, because i wanted it to be.
Keeping it simple.
