353 Day’s of Recovery from Procrastination

Today i spent a half an hour sitting in the sun, inside my car, enjoying the view and working on my first task, writting more of my story. I love sitting next to a window, feeling the warmth of the sun, when i know its cold outside.

I sort of feel like a cat, or my little dog who is a massive sun bunny. If we can not find her, we will when we look were the sun is. She loves to sun herself.

Olivers hill is becoming one of my favourite places here where i live now. Its calming and relaxing. I am not a massive fan of swimming in the bay, but i do enjoy the beauty of it. I was waiting for a friend to arrive so we could go for a walk along the foreshore, and to have a very deep and meaningful talk, something we haven’t done in awhile, due to work commitments.

Its nice to walk and perge all our worries and thoughts to each other, using each other as sounding boards. Its very cleansing in a way. We walked 3.1 ks in 40 minutes. I could have done another round trip, but we had other things to do separately.

So home again after stopping at the fish shop for some salmon for tea.

My linen cupboard isnt very big, so with my Procrastination i have just thrown things in. The photo on the left is the before and the photo on the right the after. I did throw out a doona cover and matching cases as they were getting pretty old. Some of the hand towels also got ditched and i found the doona cover and cases i had wanted to take up to our retreat.

Organisation, is becoming easier and easier, its also easier to deal with mentally as well. I have always been a very organised woman, well i was until i had my breakdown.

My last task was to tackle the bathroom cupboard as well. Left being before and right being after. The left side is my fiancee and the rest is mine. Why do women need so much stuff. I have so much stuff i dont need to buy anything for at least a year.

My makeup draw is worse, and i dont even wear it that much. It is ridiculous how much money i have spent over the years. I have things in there that i might use one day. I also have a small collection of Avon products, that i absolutely love, but because i can not get it anymore, (Avon pulled out of the Australian market last year.) I don’t want to waste it.

So i think that i need to use everything in the cupboard, before i buy anything else. Save my money. I do have a wedding to help pay for.

Its nice to be able to write now at 1.45 pm instead of 9 pm tonight. Some down time now until i go to the gym for personal training and a pilates class.

I am sharing my part of the couch with my little fur baby. While i am writting.

My lucky girl is like my own personal hot water bottle.

Tomorrow my tasks will be,

1. More writting

2. A long walk

3. Clean up under my bed.

Happy hump day everyone. Xxx

354 Days of Recovery from Procrastination

Today i have taken it easy. I got to sleep in till 7.30 am, i had hoped to get to maybe 8.30, but it wasn’t meant to be. I think that from now on, when i wake up i wake up, unless i have to get up for work, then i am setting an alarm. Because thats when i will sleep in. Lol

My story is shaping up nicely, its getting more depth, its a story that i think i must have to write to help with healing the empty nester syndrome that i have. I never thought it would be so tough not being a hands on mother any more. I think i need to keep my writting as task 1 everyday, instead of task 2.

Task 1, was to water all my plants, which i did in two stages. Some in the morning and some in the afternoon. I actually love gardening, but i have never had a garden as big as mine to look after, and its not a garden i would have planted, its a garden we inherited when we brought our house. It has been a little overwhelming, but i am getting there.

Its just about habit changes, getting into a good routine again.

When i was doing task 3, putting away the washing and changing the sheets on my bed, i came to the decision that i have to start updating our room. No photo was taken, because i think it looks a little tired in the need of some love.

I love white and neutral colors with pops of color through out. Small pieces that can mixed and matched, and even stand out just a little bit.

This is my idea of a room, a little sophisticated, a little boho, but all very comfortable. (Thank you pintrest for all my inspirational ideas)

I have always lived with color in my life. I am not a fan of wearing a lot of black either. If i do, i like to have color to contrast with it. I love bright colors and even on my wedding day i will have a standout piece and that will be my red shoes. I don’t even want anyone to wear black on the day. Its to be a celebration of love and life.

Why red shoes? Everyone asks, i just love the unusal uniqueness of it. My quirky side coming out.

I do not like keeping up with what others think. I like to stand out from the crowd.

Tomorrow is hump day. Wednesday is a short shift for me all over and done with in a couple of hours.

I am going for a walk along the foreshore with a friend in the morning, and have personal training and a pilates class in the afternoon.

In between my tasks will be.

1. Do thirty minutes at least of writting

2. Clean up my linen cupboard

3. Sort out my bathroom cupboard

Happy Tuesday everyone. Night. Xxx

355 Days of Recovery from Procrastination

Monday bloody Monday. The start of another week. It always rolls around to quickly. My sunday night sleep is always distrubed by the alarm going off just before 6 am, to remind me that its another work day, though i shouldn’t complain as its only a two hour shift.

I have worked odd hours most of my working life, and once it would have grated on me to only have two hours, but now that i am older i realise that there is more to life than just working.

In the last year i have over come a lot of ups and downs, to finally be in a place that i feel comfortable, makes my life / work more manageable. Helps to calm my mental health and keep me in check.

My Procrastination, i know is part of my depression and its why i need to on work it, my tasks everyday are keeping me in check, giving me purpose and re enlightening my energy.

Todays task 1. Was to get to the gym.

This mornings efforts were Pilates and hot yoga, two hours with this incredible teacher Leona. Who is inspiring and down to earth.

Through out my life i have learnt about meditation and for me my yoga practices have always been more enlightening when the teacher is calm and center like this lady is. I always leave feeling enriched, calm and slightly more flexible after being a pretzel.

I came home feeling lighter and energized. I put the 3rd task, which was to advertise our sofa bed on line. It must be a slow day for selling sofas as i haven’t had any offers as yet.

Its beautiful, don’t you think?

My second task, which was to tackle my project, was put on hold as i had to do a couple of other things, rendering it impossible for me to do anything about it today, but my wonderful partner has helped in getting all the paint off for me so that i can finish it off, its given me hope.

Tomorrow i have a quiet morning before heading to work, for a few hours.

Task 1. I want to water all the plants.

Task 2. Get some decent writing time in.

Task 3. Put away all the washing, change the sheets on my bed.

Small tasks, but manageable tasks. Some days can be big, but other days need to only be small. We don’t need to put to much pressure on ourselves.

Hope everyone has a great week. Xxx

356 Days of Recover from Procrastination

I have decided to keep myself accountable for my list every day i need to change the title of my daily blog.

I have been counting down as in day 1 till 8 so now we are at day 9, 9 days out of the 365 equals 356. A giant countdown to keep me on track.

I am hoping that when i get to day 1, i will have pretty much have my Procrastination under control. Maybe even have a book written, be in a better mental health state. Be better organised, feel a lot like my old self, the old self that had a good routine in her life.

I know one thing that will have changed and that will be i will 45 years old instead of 44 years old. ( not that i am too worried about getting older) I will also be a Mrs instead of a Miss that i have been all my life. ( something that i am very much excited about, because i didnt think it would ever be possible)

My three tasks for tòday were,

1. Swap over couches at our retreat.

We drove the two hours to our getaway, it seemed surreal that we couldn’t stay there only a flying visit.

We swapped this…..

Lovely floral sofa bed, which did its job for what it was needed for, but the new couch is much more devine. Usually i would love the older pieces of furniture, but in reality it wasn’t the most super comfy lounge in the world.

Now our new lounge while a tad smaller and doesn’t fold out into a bed, does have a double recliner in a nice cream leather.

Its been covered to protect against the dust, as we only get up there every second weekend. It will also stop puppy claws, when our dogs come with us.

I am looking forward to this weekend when we can use it for the first time.

It was a four hour round trip to do this task, but i was able to get home and quickly get all my floors done. Which was task 2.

I would like to make this a weekly habit, something i used to do and will get back into.

Now for task 3. Which is to enjoy some down time. My down time On most Sundays is i attend my weekly AA MEETING, i have missed the last two due to other life moments. This is my way of relaxing. Being able to hang out with like minded people and to be able to share our stories, to help and encourage the new comers.

Every week i am brought to tears of the stories of strength, hope and honesty. It gives me strength to get through the rest of the week. It reminds me of the yets that i could have experienced if i was still in my addiction. It also helps me to be humble again.

Tomorrow is Monday again, the start of another work week. It all rolls around to quickly.

Task 1. Get to the gym. (I had today off)

Task 2. Get my project table closer to being finished. (Procrastination has been very high here, because i haven’t felt the connection to the project, due to a misunderstanding) my imagination is really big, sometimes overwhelmingly big.

Task 3. Put the sofa bed up for sale. (Does anyone want it?)

Hope everyone has had a lovely weekend. Xx

365 Days of Recovery from Procrastination

Day 8

What a busy day i have had. With my job ( i work in disabilities), i do two sleep overs a fortnight, last night being the first one. I start at 5pm and come home about 7 am. I am lucky, because from 11pm i get to sleep, sometimes i don’t though, depends on the residents.

Last night was a good night, a nice solid sleep. I came home, let the dogs in after feeding them, made my coffee, had a quick look at Facebook and my emails, before i sat down and tacked my 3rd task which was to continue my writing. I got a good hour in on my Mother’s day story.

I was so engrossed in my writing i nearly forgot what time i had to be at the gym for my cycle class. My trainer told me, she had expected a text message telling her i couldn’t make it, but i had voweled not to make any excuses, and to turn up.

Not to bad i thought. Felt like the bike seat was still stuck to my butt when i got home. Still a little sore and its four hours later.

No pain, no gain they say. Nobody has ever had to do Tanya’s cycle class. She smiles all the way through it. Scary!!!!!!

I come home to make my self a shake, my fiancee bacon and egg rolls, before getting tea ready. Slow cooked lamb chops with mushrooms. One of the pitfuls of working nights, is if i dont plan my dinners, i will graze and thats not helpful, plus at least then the king in my palace is eating healthy too. Much to his disgust sometimes. Totally a steak, chips and eggs man.

I go for a shower, get changed out of my sweaty clothes, put a load of washing on. (See i was using that as an excuse to Procrastinate yesterday). I sit at the table for a few minutes, sort of working myself up to go outside to tackle my task 2, which is to feed all the plants out in the garden.

Its time consuming and it also shows me how many weeds i have in my garden as well. I would like to eventually fill the garden with succulents and Australia wild flowers to mix in with the roses. Make the garden a little more low maintenance.

I head out the back to feed all the plants in the courtyard as well. My back garden is mostly weeds. All for another day. I am greatly suprised to see one of my orchids had a flower stem on it.

I have had them in a few different places, but they seem to love being under the tree fern, which i would like to cover before the summer to give it some protection.

A task for my Procrastination list later in the year.

My third task for today is to wash my windows. I said that maybe i would just do the lounge room windows, but i ended up doing all the outside windows. Inside will also be another days Procrastination task.

Now for some rest time. I have to be back at work at 5pm. Enough time for some cuddles on the couch with my little Lucky girl, maybe even a quick nap.

Tomorrow is Sunday. My tasks will be light ones.

Task 1. Take our new couch for our holiday retreat to the retreat. Its really starting to look like my sort of place. Light, bright and comfortable.

Task 2. Vacuum and wash the floors, depending on time between getting home and going to my weekly AA meeting.

Task 3. Enjoy some down time. (Everyone needs that on a Sunday)

Hope everyone is having a great weekend. Xxx

365 Days of Recovery from Procrastination

Day 7

Its 11pm and i have realised that i am at the end of the day, and i didn’t take any pictures of my tasks.

I also realise they were not ground breaking, getting me off the fence kind of tasks, that would stop my Procrastination, it was actually Procrastination, with a twist. It made it look like i was actually doing something, when really its pretty much what i do everyday.

Who cares if i only get what i want on the shopping list, or i eat every meal all day like i am supposed too, as for the washing its not something i Procrastinate about ever. I hate having dirty laundry piling up.

Putting away the washing, can sometimes be a chore. Now if i really wanted to put something on the Procrastination list that would be the ironing, i really dislike doing it, but i know our clothes look nicer when they are ironed.

I have had little old ladies trying to get me to be interested in ironing and i can do it, but i would rather not.

I did make a conscience decision to eat more healthy today, there are limited carbs i am allowed on the keto diet, so it did make it intersting in my food choices. By 9m i was craving junk. A habit i need to get out of, which is eating about that time of night. Nothing after 7pm.

When making important life changes, we need to be mindful of everything we do, until it becomes a new habit that we just do.

I should know this i have over come a couple of big addictions, drinking and smoking. Both i thought i wouldn’t be able to give up.

Food i am finding is being as challenging as the last two. But it also can be overcome. Its just one day at a time and making a conscience effort to change.

I have only missed one day at the gym this week, which i am very proud of. Tomorrow i am going to give yoga and Pilates a rest and do a cycle class instead. Do a Pilates class on Sunday.

So for tomorrow’s tasks, i will set for myself,

1. Start cleaning the windows ( something i havent done in nearly five years of living in my house) maybe just the lounge room ones.

2. Feed all of the garden. I had thought to put that on my list for today, but i Procrastinated lol

3. Do more of my writting, i think this important to keep putting up, otherwise i will keep putting it to the side.

Good nighr everyone. Xx

365 Days of Recovery from Procrastination

Day 6

Hospital visits are as boring as bat shit. I was nodding off, while trying to be supportive of my fiancee, while he waited to go in for surgery on his ankle.

9 am rolled round and i was off to Bayside shopping center, while i waited to be called to come back. First thing i did was map my walk. I am loving this app. It even gets squiggly when i am walking around inside the shopping center.

Walking up there also saved me on tripple parking. As i was already paying for parking at the hospital, i didnt want to move the car, pay that parking, then pay for parking at the shopping center and then pay again when i came back to the hospital. Plus the crisp air from the ocean, woke me up as i walked.

I am not a tight arse, but it was far more economical to do it that way. Walking back to the hospital with my task 2, which had been to go to the fruit shop inside the shopping center, laden down with a bag full of fruit and veg, reminded me of when i was a young single mum, who had to plan all her shopping around the walk i had to do to get to the shops and back. I think i must of had hugh muscles back then, because todays single bag and my handbag was heavy enough and back then i would have several bags on each arm.

I did treat myself to breakfast and a coffee. It was nice to do that, something i used to do when i was a single woman. It was really lovely to sit, enjoy my coffee eat my breakfast of avocado and feta ( avocado was a bit ordinarily),but not too bad, read my magazine, before heading off to get my shopping and get my eyebrows done.

Task 1, was to do some writing, which i started to do when i came back to the hospital. I didnt start on my two little womabats story, but another one i am building up and giving more substance too.

I started this story about a year ago and i knew i needed to continue working on it, but have put it off, but i am glad i worked on it today, it really flowed.

Having access to my stories from different devices, helps to keep the excuses away. I think also writing here ever day is helping to open up my story writting again. Its giving me confidence.

As for my last task which was write a menu for the fortnight, it took until tonight to get an idea of what i wanted to cook for the fortnight, but after having successfully cooking turkey burgers with gluten free bread crumbs and my partner loving them, its given me the confidence to start my keto diet.

This brings me to my three tasks for tomorrow.

1. Stick to the shopping list and do not buy anything i do not need.

2. Get a load of washing on and out to dry.

3. Eat breakfast, luch and tea. Sometimes i struggle to get healthy food into me. Sometimes i forget to eat.

More water needs to be added every day as well. But that has to become a habit. Its not Procrastination, that stops me, but the love of coffee, which i only had two today. Small achievement.

Happy Thursday everyone. Xxx

365 Days of Recovery from Procrastination

Day 5

I was really tired today. I now know that my Procrastination is apart of my depression. Depression is something i have been fighting against for most of my life. Something that sometimes hits me like a tidle wave. Most of the time its just ripples which are easier to deal with.

I live the life of a very positive person, but sometimes i have off days, and today was one of those. I think all the pressure of the bullying that i have been experiencing lately and the fact that my brand new second hand juicer blew up this morning, tipped me over the edge. It is funny how you work up something in your mind, which for me today was to come home and have a fresh celery, apple and pear juice. Only to have it go pear shape. I battled on, threw it all in the bin and decided to buy a brand new juicer. It was enough to get me into my gym gear.

Seeing as task, 1. Was to go to the gym and do one class. Pilates was my chosen class, i am really enjoying the feeling of stretching my body and doing different routines. I also love that i can wear my ugg boots to the class. Bogan i know but they are comfortable in the winter.🧘‍♀️🧦

Task 2 was to clean up my office, but when i came home it all hit me and i had to lay down. A good cry and a little nap. Being aware of how i am tracking with my mental health is very important, not only for myself but those around me too. Naps and tears are somtimes very cleansing. Being good to myself is the key to moving forward.

I got up after about an hour and had a shower, a little bit of chocolate and looked at my task 3 which was to write some more of my “two little wombats”, but my mind was blank, i couldn’t get my brain around it, so i went back to task 2, which was to clean up my office.

The top photo shows my office as it would look like if it was a Chinese laundry. Everything always seems to get piled up in there. Its my space with my quirky likes, with my books, my records, my antique cupboards and my things i have collected over my life. My fiancee has a little bit of space in there, but primarily its my space. Its where i like to write to get my thoughts out.

Today has been a mental health day. I am glad that i recognise when i am running low, instead of letting my ego run me raggered and it all becoming messy again. Its nice that since i started doing my tasks, i am getting to the gym more. Finding the balabce in life is the key to finding your true happyness.

Tomorrow i am spending a part of the day in the hospital while my fiancee has the screws removed from his ankle. When its healed he will be able to dance better at our wedding. 👰🤵

So my tasks tomorrow are to

1. Do some writing, seeing as i have time to kill.

2. Go to the fruit shop and buy some good quality fruit and veg, at a good price. (This particular shop is located in the major shopping center and i dont usually like paying for parking.), but they do have good specials.

3. Set out a menu for the next two weeks so that i am not wondering what to cook for tea everynight. I would like to get into the practice of this so that my shopping bill is smaller.

Happy hump day everyone. Remember to look after your mental health first, before you tackle any big plans. Giving yourself small goals helps to keep us going. Xx

365 Days of Recovery from Procrastination

Day 4

It’s sometimes a hard slog trying to change your habits. Work and life sometimes gets in the way.

I am super tired, work was a long day, i am battling against some bullying from someone who does not deserve my time. I have lived through bullying most of my life. Not only from others but of myself too, but i am ready to show my strength, i am fighting back, but its taking a bit of a toll on my mental health.

Negative thoughts, feelings and others actions make me feel really tired. I know i shouldn’t allow it to effect me, and its part of my growing process, but then at the same time i wish that people would just mind their own business and find their own lives. This is the life of an empath.

I was once called a marter and i didnt know why i would be called that, but when i doctor googled it, i realised that i would rather fall on my sword than to continue fighting against a narcissist. Sometimes it the more simple way of survival in the world, but then sometimes you need to take that sword out of your heart and slay the demons that are trying to take over your life.

Rant over, time to pick myself up, dust myself off and get on with it. Just as i was always taught to do.

So my three tasks today were.

1. Walk my client to the shops.

2. Go to my Pilates class

3. Only have one coffee and drink more water.

I live a honest life, and give honest answers, because that is what i was taught not only as a child, but also within the rooms of AA. So i will always tell the truth about how i have really gone with my tasks.

I have completed all my tasks, except i had two cups of coffee. Late this afternoon, i felt the weight of the world on my shoulders and i just needed to get through the rest of the day.

Excuses i know, but it is something i am going to work on. The excuses that is. After all i am only at day 4. 😁

My walk consisted of pushing my client in her wheelchair up to the local shopping center, instead of driving, which i have been doing recently, because of it being the winter months. I never really realised how hilly my suburb was until i started working in a disability support house and taking out my client out. It is nice that i work so close to home. So close that i can walk there and back if i wanted to, i will start again when it starts warming up.

While i did drink two cups of coffee i did make a conscience decision and made a flask of hot peppermint tea and took my water flask with me, which i finished as well. I found i didnt want to eat as much, after drinking the tea.

I did consider cancelling my pilates class at 5pm, it was getting over cast and started to rain on me as i pulled up to the gym, but i arrived early and used some of my time to sit in their massage chair and let it massage away all my stresses from the day. It made me very sleepy. I had hoped that the pilates class would be a nice calm class with not a lot of leg work. I was very wrong. It was murder through some of it, but thats only because my hips are still hurting, in certain positions.

Its all about practice, and keeping it up, and not giving up.

Tomorrow is a two hour shift at work, and i have the rest of the day off, so i am going to choose three things that are not very hard, but in my mind need to be done.

1. Do at least one class at the gym. Not sure which one yet.

2. Clean up my office and reorganize it, to make it a better work place for me to write.

3. Start working on my “Two little wombats” story that is already started, but fear and Procrastination has stopped me in my tracks, regarding this story. I have a good story, but it needs more meat added to the bones.

Hope everyone has had a wonderful day. Xxx

365 Days of Recovery from Procrastination

Day 3

I think i may have asked to much of myself today. My three tasks were,

1. Complete two gym classes. Hot boxing and hot yoga one after the other. Go back for some Personal training.

2. Rake up the leaves out the back and weed the garden bed against the fence.

3. Clean out the fridge and the pantry.

I have nearly completed all my tasks, but comprises had to be made as well. I remembered this morning i had promised to go over to my father-in-law house, which meant that time in my day would be taken up, so i skipped the hot boxing, went home and started the pantry.

It is amazing how much food we waste, because we have forgotten what we have at the back of the pantry. We had lasagne for tea tonight, because i had two boxes of lasagna sheets that needed to be used. (Sorry deleted the finished pantry photo)

I then headed off to the gym to the hot yoga, where i found out we were really just going to be pretzels. My hips and knee did feel better from the heat, and enabled me to be able to participate in my personal training better. Last week everything was hurting.

The fridge was next, there isn’t much in there, but the shelves were a little terrible and the fruit and veggie containers were full of bits of left over greens. The sauses and jam had spilled as well. Nice and clean again. Hygienic conditions for when i do the shopping in a few days.

Because i make lasagne from scratch, meat and sauce not the pasta it took up a lot of my afternoon, and i was only able to rake up the leaves out the back. It does look nicer.

I also was able to put some washing on and fold the towels off the line. So over all a very productive day.

I have to remember not to let my ego take over and allow me to push myself beyond my limits. I have to also remember not to be too hard on myself, because i am proud of myself for at least tackling 95% of my tasks today.

When we are in recovery, we have to remember to take a day at a time, and Easy does it.

Tomorrow is a busy day for me at work, so i am going to set a smaller more realistic goals for myself.

1. Walk my client, who is in a wheelchair to the shopping center instead of driving. Tracking this so i can see where we have been and how far. (I have been putting this off because of it being winter).

2. Go to a Pilates class in the afternoon. ( i am aiming to get exercises into everyday)

3. Only have one coffee for the day. ( my water consumption is terrible)

Happy Monday everyone. Xxx