Day 125 Days of Recovery from Procrastination

The world is in lockdown, everything is stopping. My AA meetings are being closed for a couple of weeks, our grand daughters drama class is on hold too. My husband has had emails saying that businesses he uses are shutting down for a few weeks too. He as a small business owner would have had cabin fever if there had been no footy, to look forward to. Take his mind off the bills that need to be paid.

Hallelujah there was a small miracle in our house. Some tension taken away.

Life would have been unbearable if they had cancelled all the Aussie rules games. (Well not for me i would watch the lifestyle programs.)

Will it be different watching the games on the tv and not seeing the crowds, booing and cheering for their teams yes it will.

I am told, by my footy loving husband that it will test the teams. Crowd participation sometimes directs how a team plays.

Pretty much the same way we have played with current bullshit that is going on in the world.

Waiting and watching.

Washing my hands every chance i get.

Keeping it simple one day at a time.

GO CATS BRING HOME THE FLAG.

Day 126 Days of Recovery from Procrastination

I think this is the face of at least 70% of Australia population at the moment. Ravaged with hysteria over something that, yes is important, but managable as well.

My face thinking about that percentage, and hysteria that is happening to my nation.

Why why why is everyone going stupid? I understand self isolation could be hard, but from i can see the nation is going to have to go on the show,

My 600 pound life!!!!!!!!!

Because they are going to eat themselves stupid.

I wonder if the nation has brought a shit load of laxatives too, to get rid of all that food and thats why i can not buy toliet paper!!!!!

Between my husband and myself with the help of a co worker that had some spare time today, we have enough food for a couple of weeks.

Will i do some more shopping on Thursday? Yes, but only for fruit and veg.

Yes people eating junk lowers your immune system, keep up your strength with whole foods and it will be easier for your body to deal with if you do get sick.

Until i am in lockdown or one of us is sick and cant leave the house i will just continue to live life everyday. I will go to the shop and buy what i need.

I am sure there will be someone out there that could leave the essential items at the gate for me, which is coffee and milk, in the event of me not going out.

So the moral of my story today people is, bambi washes her hands every time she does something, she is also eating healthy foods and trying very hard to stay proactive, not procrastinate about being healthy and bambi never ever wants to look the scary clown.

Unless she is trying to scare the shit out of her friends at a party. Lol

Keeping it simple one day at a time.

Day 127 Days of Recovery from Procrastination

Here is a way to help get through the current bullshit that is going on in the world today.

I am having a throw back Monday.

Three Monday’s ago i had just become a Mrs. Took forty five years, but one of the happiest days of my life after the birth of my one and only child.

Two weeks ago we were coming home from our honeymoon. A vacation that was what every honeymoon should be like. Love, fun, sun, crocodiles, toad races and helicopter ride over one of the seven wonders of the world. What i always dreamed my honeymoon would be.

Tonight we are still blissfully happy, even if the world around us has gone a bit cray cray.

Looking forward to spending more days with my one true love. It helps to keep the procrastination at bay, when there is a slight crisis happening.

All very egotistical to focus on the past here, but its the great thing to remember and hope for again in the future. A time of calm again.

Its just the little things in life that make you smile.

Keeping it simple one day at a time.

Day 129/128 Day’s of Recovery from Procrastination

Yesterday i needed to write something else besides my battle against procrastination.

Sometimes i have an over whelming urge to write what i am feeling. I know this is a part of the writting experience, and its something i need to do to, not only express myself but to quieten my mind as well.

We had our first night away up at our retreat and i just wanted to enjoy the peacefulness of it. It is also where i write my usually better stuff as well.

We have decided if Australian goes into lock down and i am unable to go to work, then thats where we will go to self isolate ourselves. Out in the country, in the fresh air with not to many people around just our dogs and maybe the occasional wave from our closet neighbor.

For right now i am turning the pages of time, waiting to see what is on the next page of my book of life. I am not really enjoying the unease of the world right now, but i will patiently wait it out, and see what happens.

Keep it simple one day at a time.

Letter of Help.

Dear Goverment,

My new husband and i go away on our honeymoon, switch off from everything, enjoy our time. A feeling of an innoncent time. Life is beautiful and seems magical. We have stayed here in Australia, spent our wedding gift money in local businesses, helped tourism. Our honeymoon ends, we get on the plane, we fly home, blissfully unaware of the events happening in the world. Loved up with each other and life in general.

We wake up to a scene from the dawn of the dead movie, (which is a reaccuring nightmare for me after watching the movie many years ago) except there is no zombies, just chaos over toilet paper and hand sanitiser, because our prime minister has not chosen his words correctly and it has caused our nation to go into mass panic, because they all think they are going to die from a virus. Better education maybe would have save people from being attacked and in one case that i know of being tazered over toilet paper. (stupitidy at its finest there!)

Six weeks ago we were working together as a nation to help those effected by bushfires, now there are people beating up each other over toilet paper. It is like we have forgotten how to be nice to each other. Before heading off to get married i transfer the remainder of our roll’s of toilet paper next to the toilet for my friend who is staying to look after our dogs. Think to myself i will buy a big pack like i usually do when we get back, because there will be no Killer virus and life will be normal when we get home. Now i feel funny and a little intiminated about buying toilet paper, because i fear for my life that i could experience the hurds of sheep that are in a frenzy, because you the goverment and the media are hyping this all to through the roof, causing mass hysteria.

In the two weeks since we came home, the world has turned upside down and now your shitting yourselves. Hope you have enough toilet paper? lol

You are handing out money to help those who are disavantaged and to small businesses. Yay thanks for helping, not that i will be apart of either of those getting a hand out. It is also a way i realise of saving our enconomy from free fall with the stock market dipping extrmely low, because of the fear mungering that is going on.

How about now Mr Morrison ( you are our current prime minister) i say that as last time one of our prime ministers started handing out money, we woke up with a new prime minister. Getting back to the point,

TO THE REAL PEOPLE RUNNING OUR COUNTRY,

Could you now think about our economic future better please. Encourage bussinesses to employ all their staff in a full time compasity. Encourage younger Australians to buy and build their first homes, keeing many trades in business during this tough time. Also tighten up on the rookie and dodggie tradesmen who are doing a crap job and exploiting the Australian public. Selling everything to people overseas doesn’t always work well. I have worked for my current employer for just over a year now and have not been given this opportunity.

Goverment please see that i work in a industry where we are the front line to helping to keep people in aged care and with disabilities, who have compromised immune systems stay healthy and well, but we can not do that if there is,

1. THERE IS NOT ENOUGH QUALIFIED AND COMMON SENSE PEOPLE TRAINED TO DO OUR JOBS, IF THERE IS A SPATE OF ILLNESSES. WE FEEL FORCED TO KEEP WORKING, BECAUSE MANY OF US ARE NOT PUT ON FULL TIME AND WHEN WE HAVE TO HAVE A SICK DAY WE DO NOT GET PAID. (WILL THE GOVERMENT PAY US A PAY OUT TOO TO HELP PAY OUR BILLS? WE PAY OUR TAXES!)

2. GOVERMENT I AM HAPPY TO PAY HIGHER TAXES AND WOULD LOVE TO SEE BIG BUSINESSES (MINING FOR EXAMPLE) PAY EVEN BIGGER TAXES AS WELL, SO THAT ALL EDUCATION FROM KINDERGARTON TO UNIVERSITY IS PAID FOR FROM OUR TAXES. PLEASE INCLUDE CHILDCARE IN TO THIS AND IT MAY HELP TO STOP ROUGH OPERATORS FROM EXPLOITING NOT ONLY PARENTS BUT THE WORKERS AS WELL. IT WILL TAKE SO MUCH STRESS OFF FAMILIES AND HELP TO KEEP THE ECONOMY CHURNINNG.

3. WHILE HIKING UP THE TAXES IT WILL HELP TO LOOK AFTER OUR RETIREES AS WELL, THOSE THAT HAVE ALREADY PAID THEIR FAIR SHARE OF TAXES OVER THEIR WORKING LIFE. STOP TAXING OUR SUPER AS WELL.

4. PLEASE STOP SELLING OFF OUR COUNTRIES SMALL AND LARGE BUSINESSES, AS IT IS TAKING AWAY JOBS. FOR EXAMPLE SPC IN SHEPPARTON. YOU ALLOW IT TO BE SOLD TO A FORGIN COUNTRY AND THEY THEN START IMPORTING FRUIT AND NOT USING THE LOCAL PRODUCE. YOU ARE IDIOTS FOR ALLOWING THIS TO HAPPEN TO OUR COUNTRY. YOU THE GOVERMENT ARE CREATING THE UNEMPLOYMENT PROBLEM.

You seem to be scavengers just picking as much as you can from us, before sending all our money to other countries that never repay the favor. Where is all the money that was raised for our bushfire victims? From what i hear its been held in the tax department and not being used for what it was raised for in the first place. Is that correct goverment?

Yes i know you will have a answer for my questions and they will be full of mumbo jumbo and will waffle on forever that we will go to sleep from bordem. But do you know what Goverment we actually are not all sheep following the masses, some of us are watching you and we are hoping and still have a little faith in you that you will finally pull your head out of other countries arses and after this new crisis is over hopefully you will finally realise that your people, the people of this nation are far more important that the rest of the world. After all you are like our parents. We also undertand that its all a fine line with the rest of the world, but honestly we could put up a fence right round this country and we would survive. No need to import anything.

Please listen and look after us as we expet you too.

Regards

One of your Children

Day 130 Days of Recovery from Procrastination

This is the face of a happy woman. I faced my writters fear. Fronted up, sat down, shut up and listened while i worked on my story.

Lots of interesting stories floating around. I chattered with others, who gave me insight into my writting, gave me other ways of looking at my story and how i could develope it to a point where it could be published one day.

Even had a topic for us to work on if we liked. Something i was hoping that they would do.

Fear and procrastination pushed to the side. A feeling of elation that i fitted in, didnt feel like the odd one out.

Onwards and upwards from now on.

Keeping it simple one day at a time.

Day 131 Days of Recovery from Procrastination

Tomorrow i am facing one of my greatest fears.

I joined a writers group! Yikes

Tomorrow i will sit with a lot of others who are published, who have way more experience than me and who have been writting forever.

They meet once a month and its both frightening and exciting at the same time. I am extremely introvert in new groups of people, i will usually hang on the outside and watch what is happening around me, until i feel comfortable.

My fear is will they like my writting?

Silly thinking really as we each have our own way of expression when it comes to writting.

What happens if they think my writting really SUCKS!!!!

There is the fear creeping in. Deep breath. ( breath breath breath) I am sure thats not going to happen, but breath breath breath.

I have been watching this group for over a year now, fear has been holding me back. I took a chance when they had a discount on their membership. Not that it was expensive, but it was a small opening in my fear and i jumped at the chance.

Keeping it simple and remembering that with out courage, my fear will hold me back. I dont want fear to hold me back any more.

When i was younger i believed in my stepping stones. And this writers group is a new set of stepping stones.

I can only go forward, because i have taken to many steps backwards in my writting. Time to stand still and tall, be focused and breath breath breath.

YOU HAVE GOT THIS FRED. 😉

Day 133/132 Day’s of Recovery from Procrastination

For many years my ego, made me self centered, but at the same time my confidence in myself was at a all time low.

It was a struggle to balance out the two. Reining in my ego and learning to be more compassionate with myself, only happened after hitting the wall and knocking myself out.

My recovery from my breakdown, has been a struggle, some good days, a fair few bad days, but many days where it has been manageable i felt like my old self.

Now in my recovery from Procrastination i am learning to be my true self. Like any recovery we have to learn new things.

I am learning to have confidence and trust in myself again.

Learning to have a healthy ego, one that isn’t self centered or out of control.

I have learned where my place in the world is and i am very happy with that place.

Learning a new routine, and learning to say no as well, instead of being a complete people pleaser is helping.

Keeping it simple one day at time.

Day 135/134 Day’s of Recovery from Procrastination

This is pretty much the story of my twenties. When i was twenty-five i drempt of being married and have another child by the time i was thirty.

I wasn’t in the right head space, or even comfortable enough within myself to have maintained a marrige back then. It would have been done on a whim, i would have thought that it was everything i had ever wanted, but it really wasn’t something i needed then.

I needed stability yes, but i had to learn that it was own stability that i needed and not that of someone else.

I am now in the place i wanted to be twenty years ago, but a better space in my head and i learnt to have my own stability that i needed.

Also the man i have married is a man and the boys i were seeing then were just that, boys!

I am now in a place where i feel total love and security.

Yesterday i came home from work and just vegged on the couch totally absorbed in watching tv and not even caring about being on my devices. I had cleaned the house on Saturday, so that i could do nothing yesterday. I walked to and from work.

Today i feel relaxed and self assured. Work was a breeze, because i wanted it to be.

Keeping it simple.

Day 136 Days of Recovery from Procrastination

I have for most of my adult working life worked in a team environment. It was only when i moved back to Victoria that i was taken out of that environment.

It was something i didn’t cope with very well. I had always been surrounded with other co workers. I had always had others to support me or to talk to about solving work place problems.

Working from home i thought would be great, get emailed my rosters doing my own thing, i thought that it would be freedom, but we all know what thought does to us?

Makes us over think.

It was very lonely not having the every day support from other workers, only phone conversations with team leaders that you didn’t really even know what they looked like. I felt isolated and alone.

It made my depression and procrastination worse. I felt like i falling down a dark path again, so i quit my job as a community carer and looked for more full filling position.

Just over a year ago, i finally found a great work place again. I a place where i feel happy and content.

A place that makes me happy to go to work.

Working in a great team environment helps to combat my procrastination, helps to keep me in check and also helps to find my focus.

Working with in a diverse job, with a lot of different people, helps. You never know what you may learn about someone that helps you in your life.

Thanks to all those i have worked with and those i still work with. You are all amazing.