Day 130 Days of Recovery from Procrastination

This is the face of a happy woman. I faced my writters fear. Fronted up, sat down, shut up and listened while i worked on my story.

Lots of interesting stories floating around. I chattered with others, who gave me insight into my writting, gave me other ways of looking at my story and how i could develope it to a point where it could be published one day.

Even had a topic for us to work on if we liked. Something i was hoping that they would do.

Fear and procrastination pushed to the side. A feeling of elation that i fitted in, didnt feel like the odd one out.

Onwards and upwards from now on.

Keeping it simple one day at a time.

Day 131 Days of Recovery from Procrastination

Tomorrow i am facing one of my greatest fears.

I joined a writers group! Yikes

Tomorrow i will sit with a lot of others who are published, who have way more experience than me and who have been writting forever.

They meet once a month and its both frightening and exciting at the same time. I am extremely introvert in new groups of people, i will usually hang on the outside and watch what is happening around me, until i feel comfortable.

My fear is will they like my writting?

Silly thinking really as we each have our own way of expression when it comes to writting.

What happens if they think my writting really SUCKS!!!!

There is the fear creeping in. Deep breath. ( breath breath breath) I am sure thats not going to happen, but breath breath breath.

I have been watching this group for over a year now, fear has been holding me back. I took a chance when they had a discount on their membership. Not that it was expensive, but it was a small opening in my fear and i jumped at the chance.

Keeping it simple and remembering that with out courage, my fear will hold me back. I dont want fear to hold me back any more.

When i was younger i believed in my stepping stones. And this writers group is a new set of stepping stones.

I can only go forward, because i have taken to many steps backwards in my writting. Time to stand still and tall, be focused and breath breath breath.

YOU HAVE GOT THIS FRED. 😉

Day 133/132 Day’s of Recovery from Procrastination

For many years my ego, made me self centered, but at the same time my confidence in myself was at a all time low.

It was a struggle to balance out the two. Reining in my ego and learning to be more compassionate with myself, only happened after hitting the wall and knocking myself out.

My recovery from my breakdown, has been a struggle, some good days, a fair few bad days, but many days where it has been manageable i felt like my old self.

Now in my recovery from Procrastination i am learning to be my true self. Like any recovery we have to learn new things.

I am learning to have confidence and trust in myself again.

Learning to have a healthy ego, one that isn’t self centered or out of control.

I have learned where my place in the world is and i am very happy with that place.

Learning a new routine, and learning to say no as well, instead of being a complete people pleaser is helping.

Keeping it simple one day at time.

Day 135/134 Day’s of Recovery from Procrastination

This is pretty much the story of my twenties. When i was twenty-five i drempt of being married and have another child by the time i was thirty.

I wasn’t in the right head space, or even comfortable enough within myself to have maintained a marrige back then. It would have been done on a whim, i would have thought that it was everything i had ever wanted, but it really wasn’t something i needed then.

I needed stability yes, but i had to learn that it was own stability that i needed and not that of someone else.

I am now in the place i wanted to be twenty years ago, but a better space in my head and i learnt to have my own stability that i needed.

Also the man i have married is a man and the boys i were seeing then were just that, boys!

I am now in a place where i feel total love and security.

Yesterday i came home from work and just vegged on the couch totally absorbed in watching tv and not even caring about being on my devices. I had cleaned the house on Saturday, so that i could do nothing yesterday. I walked to and from work.

Today i feel relaxed and self assured. Work was a breeze, because i wanted it to be.

Keeping it simple.

Day 136 Days of Recovery from Procrastination

I have for most of my adult working life worked in a team environment. It was only when i moved back to Victoria that i was taken out of that environment.

It was something i didn’t cope with very well. I had always been surrounded with other co workers. I had always had others to support me or to talk to about solving work place problems.

Working from home i thought would be great, get emailed my rosters doing my own thing, i thought that it would be freedom, but we all know what thought does to us?

Makes us over think.

It was very lonely not having the every day support from other workers, only phone conversations with team leaders that you didn’t really even know what they looked like. I felt isolated and alone.

It made my depression and procrastination worse. I felt like i falling down a dark path again, so i quit my job as a community carer and looked for more full filling position.

Just over a year ago, i finally found a great work place again. I a place where i feel happy and content.

A place that makes me happy to go to work.

Working in a great team environment helps to combat my procrastination, helps to keep me in check and also helps to find my focus.

Working with in a diverse job, with a lot of different people, helps. You never know what you may learn about someone that helps you in your life.

Thanks to all those i have worked with and those i still work with. You are all amazing.

Day 138/137 Day’s of Recovery from Procrastination

Only four days back at work and it doesn’t feel like i have been on a holiday.

This whole getting back to reality sucks big hairy balls if you ask me. I do not have enough to retire yet, but i am more determined to save more so i can really enjoy it.

First thing i will do is make sure i live some where warm. Cold really doesn’t agree with me much, it causes pain and procrastination.

Last week my joints didnt hurt, i was in a warm tropical paradise and this week, my hips and my scoliosis is playing up, because its cold here at home.

On the bright side i do have more energy, and i am still fighting my procrastination. Though i have noticed i am not getting out of bed early enough and am scrambling to get ready and get out the door, when i had promised myself i would start walking to work again.

A twenty minute walk is much healthier for me than the three minute drive.

So for the following week i am going to aim to walk to work on the days that i do not need to use my car. That really only being Thursday when i take out my client to do shopping.

I have to learn to have a better routine in my life again. My routine right now is a bit lazy.

I will keep it simple, i wont be to hard on myself and we will see how we go, with practice and patience anything is possible.

Day 143/139 Day’s of Recovery from Procrastination

Home now from my honeymoon. Feet were dragging, didnt want to leave the warmth.

Didn’t want to come back to reality.

This was one time i wanted my procrastination to kick in. But when there is someone else and a plane to catch, procrastination didn’t get a look in. Sigh…………

Reality is what i have come home too. My two dogs, my babies and home to work.

It is surreal that i have come from the heat of far north Queensland and its cooling so quickly here in Victoria. I missed my babies. My littlest one on my knee keeping me warm as i write. My big blue on the floor at my feet, just as it should be.

The positive is it has given me time to rest, to be loved and to enjoy the best first week any new wife could enjoy.

Helicopter rides over the Great barrier reef, snorkeling in the Great barrier reef, with sea turtle’s, tropical beaches, sun tans, swimming in gorges, watching cane toad races, drives through tropical rainforests that have crocodiles in the rivers, visiting reletives and friends who are smart enough to live in the warmth 365 days of the year. Waking up without my joints hurting, having heaps of energy generated by the sun.

It has given me the energy to come home and feel relaxed and ready for every new day. No napping on the couch in the afternoon. More energy at work and a greater appreciation of my place in life.

It’s given me strength, and renewed my vowel that one day i will be back in the state that i love the best.

QUEENSLAND❤❤❤❤❤

Till then i will keep working, keep dreaming. I have faith in my dreams.

Keep it simple and one day at a time.

Day 143 Day’s of Recovery from Procrastination

I do all my writting from my Samsung tablet. It keeps telling me i do not have enough space and this afternoon i deleted a lot of screenshots of different things that have popped up. This little gem missed the cull.

But then it really sums up my life. So it was to be in the right place at the right time to appear on my blog.

My higher power was talking to me.

I have always been a huge believer in having patience, and that with time all your dreams come true.

It may not happen, right now or even tomorrow, but if you wish hard enough and long enough eventually it will happen.

The key is to have an open mind and heart.

You also have to work a little harder to get what you want as well. I have worked hard to battle my procrastination addiction, and some days are hard, but i know that with time and discipline anything is possible.

If you dream big enough anything is possible.

Day 144 Days of Recovery from Procrastination

After my build up of anxiety coming up to the wedding, and the worry and over thinking that comes with organizing an event i had hoped would be and was casual and easy going.

I have had a lightbulb moment!

Over thinking is not my friend nor is it anyone else’s. Over thinking i believe leads to procrastination, because it causes fear and anxiety.

And when you have fear and anxiety you lose confidence in yourself and in your abilities.

I was taught from a young age to be strong to be independent and that’s what i was for such a long time.

Depression a real mental breakdown when it overcomes you, consume’s everything you have ever been thought and churns you around like a piece of washing stuck in the agitator of the washing machine.

I have untangled myself and am no longer attached to my fear and anxiety.

Life is so very precious and i love life to much to allow negatively, fear, anxiety and procrastination to take over.

I am glad that i started this count down in my battle against my procrastination problem, it is making me see things in a different light and is helping me to find focus again and its helping to clear my once cluttered mind of all the thoughts that didnt need to be there.

Keeping it simple one day at a time.

Day 145 Days of Recovery from Procrastination

Who can procrastinate when your on honeymoon? Seriously far north qld in Australia is magical.

I have come to the conclusion that i am a seasonal procrastinator. When its cold, it is when my procrastination problem plays up the most. I think i get cabin fever and no desire to do anything.

I am a sun bunny people!

Otherwise i am bored. Now that i am writting more it will help to pass the time on the really cold days, or those days that are to wet to go outside.

I have to look at cold days, rainy days in a more positive light. Find the romance in having the fire going, dream of moving back to Qld to keep me warm through the long winter months.

I am sure that Victoria has nine months of cold weather, with a few days of unseasonably warmth thrown in just as a tease.

Three days in the warmth and i am wanting to be out and about everyday. Hubby on the other hand is being a trooper in this very humid climate. He’s only used to the dry heat.

This trip reminds me of my time in spain, Valencia is a lot like my home town, even the oranges and it is dry and sticky, then you travel a few hours and far north qld is San Sebastian tropical and humid.

I am always looking for the positive in every solution. I am keeping it simple and loving every minute of my time away.