Day 143/139 Day’s of Recovery from Procrastination

Home now from my honeymoon. Feet were dragging, didnt want to leave the warmth.

Didn’t want to come back to reality.

This was one time i wanted my procrastination to kick in. But when there is someone else and a plane to catch, procrastination didn’t get a look in. Sigh…………

Reality is what i have come home too. My two dogs, my babies and home to work.

It is surreal that i have come from the heat of far north Queensland and its cooling so quickly here in Victoria. I missed my babies. My littlest one on my knee keeping me warm as i write. My big blue on the floor at my feet, just as it should be.

The positive is it has given me time to rest, to be loved and to enjoy the best first week any new wife could enjoy.

Helicopter rides over the Great barrier reef, snorkeling in the Great barrier reef, with sea turtle’s, tropical beaches, sun tans, swimming in gorges, watching cane toad races, drives through tropical rainforests that have crocodiles in the rivers, visiting reletives and friends who are smart enough to live in the warmth 365 days of the year. Waking up without my joints hurting, having heaps of energy generated by the sun.

It has given me the energy to come home and feel relaxed and ready for every new day. No napping on the couch in the afternoon. More energy at work and a greater appreciation of my place in life.

It’s given me strength, and renewed my vowel that one day i will be back in the state that i love the best.

QUEENSLAND❤❤❤❤❤

Till then i will keep working, keep dreaming. I have faith in my dreams.

Keep it simple and one day at a time.

Day 143 Day’s of Recovery from Procrastination

I do all my writting from my Samsung tablet. It keeps telling me i do not have enough space and this afternoon i deleted a lot of screenshots of different things that have popped up. This little gem missed the cull.

But then it really sums up my life. So it was to be in the right place at the right time to appear on my blog.

My higher power was talking to me.

I have always been a huge believer in having patience, and that with time all your dreams come true.

It may not happen, right now or even tomorrow, but if you wish hard enough and long enough eventually it will happen.

The key is to have an open mind and heart.

You also have to work a little harder to get what you want as well. I have worked hard to battle my procrastination addiction, and some days are hard, but i know that with time and discipline anything is possible.

If you dream big enough anything is possible.

Day 144 Days of Recovery from Procrastination

After my build up of anxiety coming up to the wedding, and the worry and over thinking that comes with organizing an event i had hoped would be and was casual and easy going.

I have had a lightbulb moment!

Over thinking is not my friend nor is it anyone else’s. Over thinking i believe leads to procrastination, because it causes fear and anxiety.

And when you have fear and anxiety you lose confidence in yourself and in your abilities.

I was taught from a young age to be strong to be independent and that’s what i was for such a long time.

Depression a real mental breakdown when it overcomes you, consume’s everything you have ever been thought and churns you around like a piece of washing stuck in the agitator of the washing machine.

I have untangled myself and am no longer attached to my fear and anxiety.

Life is so very precious and i love life to much to allow negatively, fear, anxiety and procrastination to take over.

I am glad that i started this count down in my battle against my procrastination problem, it is making me see things in a different light and is helping me to find focus again and its helping to clear my once cluttered mind of all the thoughts that didnt need to be there.

Keeping it simple one day at a time.

Day 145 Days of Recovery from Procrastination

Who can procrastinate when your on honeymoon? Seriously far north qld in Australia is magical.

I have come to the conclusion that i am a seasonal procrastinator. When its cold, it is when my procrastination problem plays up the most. I think i get cabin fever and no desire to do anything.

I am a sun bunny people!

Otherwise i am bored. Now that i am writting more it will help to pass the time on the really cold days, or those days that are to wet to go outside.

I have to look at cold days, rainy days in a more positive light. Find the romance in having the fire going, dream of moving back to Qld to keep me warm through the long winter months.

I am sure that Victoria has nine months of cold weather, with a few days of unseasonably warmth thrown in just as a tease.

Three days in the warmth and i am wanting to be out and about everyday. Hubby on the other hand is being a trooper in this very humid climate. He’s only used to the dry heat.

This trip reminds me of my time in spain, Valencia is a lot like my home town, even the oranges and it is dry and sticky, then you travel a few hours and far north qld is San Sebastian tropical and humid.

I am always looking for the positive in every solution. I am keeping it simple and loving every minute of my time away.

Dqy 156/146 Day’s of Recovery from Procrastination

Here we are finally i am a Mrs. Its now been four days since we tied the knot. My shoulders have relaxed, i do not feel that tension in my head, that had been building before our big day.

I am content and relaxed now. I am able to reflect on our day. It really is a big day 17 and a bit hours of worry and extreme happiness.

There was a few things missed, my greatest regret being my young grandsons being asleep in the car while the family photos where being taken. My heart went out to them, their little time clocks where three hours out as they live on the west coast, i couldnt bare to wake them.

Time flew though. I had hoped having an early wedding i would be able to talk to everyone, be able to relax and enjoy the day. I did enjoy my day, but i was constantly on my feet.

Now we are on our honeymoon. Now i am very relaxed. A few more days and we will be home, but not before we see some cane toad racing, swim in a gorg and soak up some sun.

Day 160/156 Day’s of Recovery from Procrastination

I have spent the last four days, recharging my soul. Rest, relaxation and recharging my battery.

I am finally in the home stretch before i get married in six days and i was near breakdown. To many thoughts in my brain, wedding, work, life and blogging. My dreaming which has always been pretty vivid, but with the thoughts and anxiety of planning a wedding, my dreams have been off the Richter scale.

Friday morning i turned up for work only to find out i didnt need to be there, i felt instant relief. Came home, had a coffee and packed our bags so we could go to our retreat for a few days.

When ever we go to our retreat, its instant relaxation. It was just what i needed to help me refocus and to unwind a bit before the last leg before we head up to my little home town for our wedding.

This whole weekend has been just what it says above, it was just what i needed too. Thanks mum for posting this as a reminder of what i needed.

In my recovery from not only procrastination, but myself as well i am learning again to balance my life again, without ego and self inflation.

Learning to live life on life’s terms one day at a time. Keeping it simple.

Day 161 Days of Recovery from Procrastination

In couple of years from now, i will look back at these posts about my recovery from my addiction to procrastination and i will either;

1. Wonder why i was procrastinating so much or

2. I will still be stuck in my addiction to procrastination.

I hope its the first!

I know for right now i am stressing about my up coming wedding and i haven’t had time to procrastinate lately as there is far to much to do.

I do worry about the come down from the excitement of finally getting married.

But then i hoping i will be walking on a cloud of happiness for at least the next year. And as i know the first year is full of firsts and it can be a little daunting and magical in your first year in recovery.

Lets hope that my healthy ego kicks in.

I have been putting other things in place to help, with my procrastination after the wedding. I have joined a writer group, to help me improve my writing and give me more confidence in my abilities.

We also have a few adventures planned for later in the year, to keep me busy.

Keeping it simple is the best way to get through everyday.

Day 166/162 Day’s of Recovery from Procrastination

Procrastination has not been my problem, these last few day, but mental mush has been.

Pretty much between thinking about my up coming wedding and work, it hasn’t left enough room in my over crowded mind for anything else.

I start to create something in my mind then get side tracked by other more pressing thoughts.

1. Do i have enough decorations?

2. Is everything paid for?

3. Will my dress look good enough?

4. Will there be enough food?

You know all the stupid questions that run through any nearly wed woman. I can now understand why, women become bridezilla’s. It’s amazing the amount of stress we put ourselves under.

Throughout the last few months i have been learning, not only not to procrastinate so much, but re learning how to breath and take everything in my stride. Learning to let go and take my hands off the wheel and let things happen, as they should, without my trying to control everything.

Bring on 22/02/2020 when i am finally a bride and the day is finally here, and my brain can have a rest.

Day 167 Days of Recovery from Procrastination

When i first had an idea of what recovery was, i embraced it and loved the feeling of not being addicted to alcohol anymore, but then i became addicted to my ego.

I thought i was better than all the other addicts out there, because i had not gone to rehab. I didn’t go to mettings. I still had the full love and support of my family, i stayed home and was a great mother, because i didnt pick up a drink. I had friends and a job. I had everything anyone could ask for.

I thought i was doing all the right things.

Well i was to a point! The only point being that i hadn’t picked up a drink, but my stinking thinking, my co dependent over the top, o.c.d on how to control everything ego was on the loose, and i wasn’t even aware of it, until…………….

BANG!!!! CRASH!!!! BOOM!!!! Holy cow Batman, I hit that wall, which knocked me out.

When i came too, i was back at step 1. My life had become unmanageable.

I hated myself, i was angry, resentful and full of pity, because i couldn’t make my life back into the way it had been.

I pushed, i pulled and i layed down and cried, to no avail, because it was gone.

Gone for good that old way of thinking and as hard as i tried it wouldn’t come back.

I now realise it left for a reason, it left because for once i had to live life on lifes terms and stop trying to control everything around me.

People, places and things!

They were not mine to control. I am only in control of me. I think a lot of my procrastination problem stems from this need or want to go back to my old way of thinking.

My new way of thinking and my new ways of looking at things, are simular, to my old, in the sense of peace, harmony and tranquility, but on a more deeper level.

I am finally learning, to have more faith in my abilities, more faith in my talents. Just more faith in myself, without my ego getting in the way.

Somedays it is a struggle to remember that i am on a new path and the little scared old ego with o.c.d me, rebels against it, but i know i have to throw open my arms and just hand it over.

Let go, let God as i keep hearing the old timers say.

Day 168 Days of Recovery from Procrastination

This morning i woke up and decided, no being a sooky lar lar today. I realise that i am just stressing about the small stuff.

As hubby to be reminded me today, that as long as i walk down the aisle to him in two weeks, then thats all that matters.

Sigh just the words i needed to hear. ❤

I have to stop worrying about the shit going on in my outside world too, because what ever happens happpens.

I am past high school, past being egotistical and worrying about what others think.

I have come to a place in my life where i am finally content and at peace with myself. But i do need to learn to stop being a people pleaser and maybe curb being an empath as well.

I just need to eat some of hubby to be’s concrete and lift my head high.

Everyday is a learning curve. Learning to keep it simple.